THE GOOD FATHER by Christian O’Reilly - MALE

THE GOOD FATHER

by Christian O’Reilly

Act I  Scene 3

TIM

She looks at me and says, ‘Are you aware that you only have one testicle?’ 

Well, I nearly dropped, or I would have only she was holding me by the – and

obviously one of  them hadn’t dropped, or somethin’.  ‘You’re jokin’?’ I says. 

She says, ‘Surely you must have noticed?’  But that was the thing.  I always just

assumed I had two.  Like I never bothered countin’ them.  I thought, I dunno, I

thought maybe they were so close together they felt like one, or maybe when

one was down there, the other was off doing somethin’ else – like I dunno, I just

never thought about it.  So she tells me then that I might have what they call an

 ‘undescended testes’, meanin’ that one dropped, but the other didn’t...She said

I’d have to get it checked out, cos if there was one still up there it would have to

be removed because, guess what – it could become cancerous.  

So I go home, an’ I’m delighted, like, that I don’t already have cancer – cancer

of the missin’ ball, an’ I’m thinkin’ I’ve a great story for the lads if ever I had the

nerve to tell them, but all I’m thinkin’ is, ‘Am I fertile or not’?

Like I didn’t know until that moment just how much I wanted to be a father.  It’s

stupid, but like I’d started imaginin’ it, what I’d be like, walkin’ around with a little

fella holdin’ me hand, teachin’ him how to cross the road, or a little girl and

holdin’ her up in the air – the way they look down at you, they’re so amazed to

be up high.  And bein’ a good father like – encouragin’ your kids, givin’ them a

tenner if they’re stuck, askin’ them how they are, always knowin’ if somethin’

was up, bein’ there for them, bein’ there for them always, always...givin’ your life

for them, givin’ your life to them – fuckin’ hell, that’s the kind of person you want

to be to somebody, more of those kind of people, the kind of person I want to

be.  Father I wanted to be.